Enneagram Instinctual Subtype and Pair Bonding - Interrelationship of Instinctual Drives
A noteworthy point of interest with respect to the Enneagram Instinctual Subtypes is that the dominant instinctual drive (self-preserving, social or sexual) will shift to the other two subtypes as needed to ensure its influential role in this trialectic instinctual system. The way in which the dominant subtype employs the other two appears to be very specific and predictable. The dominant drive maintains the role of the commander in chief and the other two are channeled through its lens. Generally, this is very primal and often unconscious. This is especially apparent with respect to the human drive to seek a mate and pair bonding, but applies to all areas of life. If a relationship displays conflicting instinctual needs the dominant drive perceives it as a threat to security and acts accordingly. Confusion about the manner in which the instinctual drives manifest to create and maintain a sense of security is often the root of misunderstandings. Such disturbances in the instinctual drive are often the catalyst for seeking counsel or therapy.

Self-preserving moves to Sexual:
For example, the self preserving subtype considers a mate as an essential need to maintain and insure security. Therefore, when in search of a mate the self-preserving subtype will feel anxiety and suspense until a mate is secured. In order to attract a mate, the self-preserving subtype will shift to their respective sexual instinctual drive to accommodate this fear. Outwardly the self-preserving subtype will behave like the sexual subtype, pay more attention to their desirability and will be sensual or flirtatious. At first, the self-preserving subtype will spend more time one on more with the possible mate. Once the mate is secured, the self-preserving subtype will return to basic routines that ideally would include the mate. An area of pain and disappointment for this subtype is when they have a mate that is unwilling to pay attention to issues of security and disrupt their need for inner calm.

Social moves to Self-Preserving:
The social subtype will think in terms more indicative of the self-preserving subtype when selecting a mate. This is very important to insure the desired security that rank and social status can provide. The social subtype seeks a mate with a shared social vision and similar values. This is necessary to fulfill the desire for a mate that will join them in their activities. Therefore, a secure social position is essential. Much attention is paid to the potential mate's connections, rank and ability to provide financial security. This subtype enjoys bringing others together, feeling that the more the merrier! They are often adept at creating the center stage and often use their home for social events, gatherings and causes. At first the social subtype will spend more time one on one with the potential mate. Once the mate is in place, the social subtype will return to outside interests, groups and/or activities, ideally, this is with their mate. An area of pain and disappointment for this subtype is when they have a mate that is unwilling to pay attention to their need for people, activities, causes and unwilling to share their interest in others.

Sexual moves to Social:
The sexual subtype (one on one) will seek the greater world or social arena to find a desired mate. The sexual subtype is normally happy tucked away in a secluded setting with one significant other. However, when alone or in search of a mate, this subtype will behave much more like the social subtype. One must be with others to find the other! Once the mate is selected, the social activity will be replaced by the dominant drive for time spent in union with the other one on one. At first the sexual subtype may spend time with the potential mate in the company of others. They become a pair even in groups. Then when the passion for deeper connection is ignited the sexual subtype will want to bond totally with their desired other. When the mate is determined, the sexual subtype will return to one on one style of relating. Ideally, this is intense time spent with the desired other or mate. An area of pain and disappointment for this subtype is when they have a mate that is unwilling to pay attention to their degree of connection and intimately share their deepest and innermost thoughts.

More on Tritype® here:
Katherine created a test that has been programmed to pick up particular patterns that the types use.
Take the Test here: https://enneagramtritypetest.com
General Information: www.katherinefauvre.com/tritype
YouTube: Katherine Fauvre | Creator of Tritype®

+Positive and -Negative Identifications within your Instinctual Stacking
The manner in which we experience the nurture aspect of our instinctual stacking nature is very revealing. Our positive and/or negative identifications with each type in our instinctual stacking greatly influence the way we express or repress our instinctual types.

We may be positively, negatively of identified with each of the instinctual types in our instinctual stacking. We can also have a neutral identification. For example, you could be a sexual/self-preserving/social aka sx/sp/so stacking but have:

- Sexual/Intimate
+ Self-preserving
+ Social

How well we negotiated the realms of self-preservation (security, nurturance, comfort, physical well-being), social (groups others, friends and foes) and sexual (pair bonds, intimate attachments, closeness, desirability) can dramatically influence our identification with each of the instinctual types in our instinctual stacking.

If we are positively identified with an instinctual type we feel greater confidence and comfort with it. One important point of interest is what happens when you are positively identified with the last instinctual type in your instinctual stacking. In this case, our third instinctual type still needs to mature and become more balanced and a part of our decision-making processes but it does not cause the same level of anxiety as the third type, with a negative identification. As such, it is easier to develop it than when we have a positive identification with the last instinctual type in our stacking.

This identification can most easily be seen in the dominant instinctual type.
A few examples…

Sexual/Intimate:
Both positively and negatively identified sexual instinctual types long for their favorite, their beloved and the object of their desire whether a life partner or a lifelong friend.

The positively identified sexual instinctual type was told that they were attractive and desirable as a child by those that were close to them and often by those in their larger groups such as with their extended family, and with schoolmates and teachers. They grew up hearing things such as “You are so handsome or you are so beautiful!” “Aren’t you adorable!” “Aren’t you charming.” Most importantly, they felt that they had the ability to attract the one they most desired to have a close connection with.

The negatively identified sexual instinctual types felt that they were not desirable or not the right kind of desirable to draw in “the one” they most wanted to be close to. This is not about popularity but rather about being and having your ‘favorite; above all else. It is about being in sync and have the union, fusion, and closeness with the object of your desire, the one with whom you have exciting chemistry. The negatively identified sexual instinctual type either gives up trying or learns the tricks of the trade by adorning themselves and seducing the object of their desire with sparking conversations that includes the revealing of one’s deepest and innermost thoughts and the sharing of secrets.

An interesting point I have noticed when working with the positively identified sexual type is how much they struggle to feel attractive and desirable when they lose what they perceived made them desirable and attractive in the first place. They often feel a lot more stress than the negatively identified sexual instinctual type because they did not have to work as hard to develop the skills needed to attract their desired mate, pair bond or BFF as the negatively identified sexual instinctual type did.

Wherever they go and wherever they are they seek the special someone with whom they can deeply connect share their deeper and innermost thoughts.

Social:
Wherever they go and wherever they are they seek a place or position that gives them security through status or belonging. Due to positive experiences as a child, the positively identified social instinctual type sees himself or herself as friendly and often wants to find others and/or groups to join to experience a sense of purpose and belonging. This social instinctual type is most inclined to be philanthropic.

Due to negative experiences as a child, the negatively identified social instinctual type sees himself or herself as somewhat of a loner and often wants to avoid grouping of any kind because he or she feels that others will exclude him or her or that he or she will be cast out. This negatively identified social instinctual type is more inclined to be misanthropic. He or she may report that he or she hates people, parties or groups. They usually do not realize that they are the social instinctual type because they are unaware that their attention is focused on people and what others are doing rather than their resources or their designated favorite.

Self-preserving:
With the self-preserving instinct, you can be overly focused on scarcity and not having enough time, energy, or money even if you have a trust fund and don't have to work. Or you can keep track of every penny you spend and worry about expenses but have a serious disease and not monitor it. This can be seen if you eat the wrong foods, fail to exercise according to the needs of your condition, don’t regularly take your medications, and/or do not have the treatments required to manage your health issue, especially when it is a life-threatening concern.

The extreme polar opposite can be seen when the self-preserving instinctual type engages in high-risk activities without being concerned that he or she could be easily injured or have a fatal accident. For example, I have known self-preserving cp6s that are very afraid of flying but engage in extremely dangerous sports. It helps the 6 manage their fear of flying when they learn the statistics of those who perish in an airplane crash and those that crash and burn on a dangerous ski slope.

When someone is positively identified with their self-preserving instinctual type they usually have a sense of abundance. He or she feels that their hard work or the world will provide what he or she need financially and/or physically. However, the positively identified self-preserving instinctual type can identify with not having financial and/or physical needs even if they do have them or should pay better attention to them. ;)

The negatively identified self-preserving instinctual type will feel a sense of lack and that they can never have enough resources, and that the resources they do have could be taken away by some sort of catastrophe. They may bring food with them everywhere they go just in case but they will be inclined to hoard it for fear they might not have enough whereas the positively identified self-preserving instinctual type would be more inclined to share what they have, believing when they need food someone will share with them.

Your Tritype® stacking, of course, would amplify this. The positive self-preserving sp/so 792 would not only share the food they brought, they would bring enough for everyone. The negatively identified self-preserving sp/so 541 would be more inclined to hide the food they have and fear that others would take more than their fair share leaving them without enough. They would also feel ‘to each his own’ and that everyone should provide for themselves. Wherever they go and wherever they are they seek security by having enough provisions, resources and physical essentials.