Enneagram Type 2: Nurturing Advisor
Giver, Caretaker, Helper, Nurturer, Advisor or Manipulator
© 1995-2017 Katherine Chernick Fauvre
Twos want to be appealing, giving, caring and heartfelt. More importantly, they want to be needed, considered important and appreciated for their efforts. Twos see themselves as approachable, nurturing and thoughtful. Twos would like others to them as empathetic, supportive and altruistic. The Twos idealized image is that they are a loving and helpful person.
Twos have a warm, sociable and enthusiastic personality. Twos want to be liked, and are always ready with an easy smile, helpful advice, or a friendly compliment. Relationship orientated, they reach out to others and are often the first one to lend a hand. Good listeners, Twos focus on the needs and concerns of others. Twos usually know what people need and feel, and enjoy taking on the kind of role where they can show their giving and generous nature. Twos have developed the gift of flattery to the level of an art form because they see how this skill can be a currency for creating intimate rapport.
Secretly, Twos can feel needy and vulnerable, feeling that they must earn the right to be loved. Avoiding a deep sense of loneliness, Twos find ways to connect to and be of service to others. Twos have an innate sense of what to say or do to make people feel seen and admired. Like a fairy godmother or godfather, they like to do special things for people and surprise them with unexpected gifts. Twos take note of others’ desires and try to fulfill them. Twos take pride in their ability to comfort and support others.
Twos find it gratifying to be of service, and are drawn to people that have power and influence. Twos enjoy being the power behind the throne and make themselves appealing by being indispensable. Always ready to be helpful, others often depend on them. Twos have innate people skills and value interpersonal relationships above all else. Their extraordinary insight about what people need, and their ability to create mutual trust and affinity, are rare gifts. They love to be instrumental in helping others achieve their full potential.
Twos need approval, recognition and admiration. Most importantly, they want to be seen as a ‘special’ friend. Twos go out of their way to notice what is needed and feel motivated when others acknowledge their efforts and express their appreciation. Sometimes, Twos are so focused on others, that they don’t pay attention to their own unmet needs and feelings. Twos may feel that in order to have their needs met by others, they must meet other's needs first.
Twos avoid appearing needy or useless. Secretly, Twos fear being ignored and don’t want to feel left out, or be seen as inconsequential. To be liked, they avoid saying or doing anything that is off-putting or unflattering. Twos feel much more comfortable giving than receiving. To let themselves receive, they would have to express their own desires, which feels very vulnerable to the Two. Focused on the needs of others, they may repress their own needs and feel taken for granted.
Demonstrative and friendly, Twos are exceptionally gifted at creating and maintaining relationships. Emotionally astute, Twos have a way of creating rapport with even the most difficult people. They are softhearted and sympathetic with others and always seem to notice when someone feels sad or is in distress. Twos intuitively know what is needed relationally in any given situation, and always seem to know just the right thing to say and do. Twos ability to sense and satisfy other’s emotional needs is second to none. Twos also have the ability to match others and work well in tandem with them.
The vice of the Two is pride, believing that they are the one who sees what people need and can give them what they want. Though they might not realize it, they may give to people with strings attached. When Twos offer unsolicited advice or give compulsively, others may perceive them as bossy, overly demonstrative or manipulative. In an effort to have their needs met, they may promise more than they can deliver. Unconsciously, Twos may feel needy and want to be taken care of by others. They can become emotional, sullen or overly dramatic, suffering from psychosomatic illnesses.
Twos’ attention goes outward toward being helpful, flattering others, meeting people’s needs and finding someone who can meet their needs. They may be unaware of how much time and energy they spend giving until they feel sad that others are not able to do the same for them.
Twos’ spiritual journey is about reclaiming their sense of humility. The pride they feel in giving to others may keep them from learning how to receive, or from realizing that they may be giving to get. Giving with expectation is a veiled form of taking. True altruism is selfless. Spiritual growth will come to them when they can acknowledge their own needs and learn to give freely without expecting anything in return.
Being helpful to others is how Twos feel good about themselves. Sometimes they may be so focused on meeting the needs of others that they do not pay attention to their own. If they feel compelled to offer someone a glass of water, they should consider that they may actually be the one who is thirsty.
The Enneagram Type 2 with the 1 Wing, desires to appear elegant. They see themselves as classic, graceful, healthy, appropriate and efficient.
The Enneagram Type 2 with the 3 Wing, desires to appear attractive. They see themselves as vivacious, varied, playful, fun and glamorous.
Paula Abdul, Alan Alda, Tammy Faye Bakker, Brigitte Bardot, Harry Belafonte, Leo Buscaglia, Barbara Bush, Jimmy Carter, Casanova, Glenn Close, Bill Cosby, Barbara de Angelis, Princess Diana, Celine Dion, John Douglas, Faye Dunaway, Fairy Godmother, Mia Farrow, Betty Friedan, Kathie Lee Gifford, Danny Glover, Roosevelt Grier, Melanie Griffith, Leona Helmsley, Catherine Hicks, Whitney Houston, Jesus Christ, Erica Jong, Sally Kellerman, Sally Kirkland, Diane Ladd, Monica Lewinsky, Jerry Lewis, James Lipton, John Lithgow, Jennifer Lopez, Susan Lucci, Madonna, Alma Mahler, Imelda Marcos, Florence Nightingale, Merlin Olsen, Yoko Ono, Suze Orman, Eva Peron, Priscilla Presley, Patsy Ramsey, Sally Jessy Raphael, Nancy Reagan, Della Reese, Lionel Ritchie, Mr. Rogers, Virginia Satir, Richard Simmons, Danielle Steel, Sally Struthers, Mother Teresa, Marlo Thomas, Richard Thomas, Jennifer Tilly, Tiny Tim, John Travolta, Ivana Trump, Desmond Tutu, Barbara Walters, Lesley Ann Warren.
© 1995-2017 Katherine Chernick Fauvre